New Beginnings

Today was my first day at the new job and I'm having trouble deciding what to tell you about first. Should I start with the awesome, down-to-earth people? Or maybe I should begin with how the job description has turned out be so much more interesting than I expected and actually very, very similar to what I have been doing for the last 5 years. Or perhaps I should just dive right in and describe the extremely serene and beautiful lunch break I had while sitting at a picnic table next to the lake on a gorgeous summer day! That break was so wonderful I could barely concentrate on the book I was reading because my eyes kept averting to the small, shining ripples in the water and how they kept quietly smacking against the shore.

I know its early, but I think I'm in love...with my new job. The atmosphere and overall morale is a total 180 from what I've become all too familiar with in my work life. I feel as though I finally work for a company who has found the proper balance between providing a fun, carefree atmosphere while still holding the employees accountable for their performance.

I'd been extremely nervous every time I thought about starting this new job, and it seemed to only get worse with the approaching start date. I'd been away from work, life, and a normal adult-detailed schedule for so long that I was nearly convinced I was 11 years old again and facing the excitement/horror of going back to school. I'd destroyed my sleeping schedule over the summer and I was afraid I might have lost my work-ethic as well. I don't know that it's possible, but I was very frightened that I'd let go of the strong, confident, and bright employee I've always been while fighting through the shutdown of my last job and then during the 2 month wait for this opportunity to find its way to me. But fortunately I was wrong. I learned today that I am still every bit as strong, confident, and bright as I ever was, and more importantly, determined to do this right because I'm finally surrounded by people like me--people who take pride in their work, who care about doing it right the first time, and who can find and appreciate that proper balance between friendly socializing and getting the job done.

I know it was only my first day and it's possible ugly demons are already hiding behind corners just waiting for the right time to jump out at me, but after today I can't help but be reminded of something a friend said to me. She wished me luck on my first day and said she hoped the company was a good fit for me. I was taken aback because I'd never worried about it before as I've always been so consumed with the fear of not being a good fit for them that how I felt didn't really matter. She had an excellent point though, and I'm so relieved to feel that they are a really, really good fit for me. I mean, it's possible there isn't a better one out there.

Worrywart

This morning I awoke to discover I was spotting ever so slightly, and I found myself in the unfortunate position of choosing between two extremes: a) be myself, stay mostly calm, keep an eye on the problem, and hope it all works out for the best, or b) be my sister, convince myself that the baby and I are dying, call the doctor crying, and demand an ultrasound pronto.

I gave myself a leisurely hour before making a decision. I didn't really think anything was wrong, but I had this nagging voice in my head that was listing off all of the other times in my life in which I should have called someone but didn't, and how differently things could have turned out then, typically for the better. So I did the only thing I could think of. I pulled out the folder I was given on our first visit and glanced over the short list of things to notify the doctor about. Sure enough, the very last thing listed was bleeding, and it said all bleeding, even if very light, should be reported in early pregnancy. My problem then became: I'm 13 weeks. I'm in my second trimester. Surely that doesn't constitute as early pregnancy? More like mid-pregnancy, but just barely.

My reasoning (excuses) fought the good fight and I ended up calling. Better safe than sorry, right?

A nurse answered the phone and I very calmly explained my situation, carefully recounting every small detail, even a few strange, probably unrelated, occurrences that happened during the days prior. I figured the more detail, the more likely they'll be able to tell me whether or not something was seriously wrong. I also answered all of her questions, however embarrassing, and managed to feel relatively mature throughout the entire conversation. And after conferring with a doctor the nurse informed me that what I had experienced was probably nothing, but I was more than welcome to come in this afternoon for a quick exam to make sure everything is okay. I graciously accepted the emergency appointment, mostly because I couldn't see myself making it through the next three weeks, until our next check-up, without questioning every little discomfort.

The baby and I are fine. We're both going to live. I was just told to take it easy for the next 24 hours or so. It was actually a very exciting appointment as I got another ultrasound and it's amazing what a difference a week can make when compared with the ultrasound pictures I received last Wednesday. It could be the angle, but honestly, in the matter of 6 days the thing growing inside of me has gone from strange little alien to thumb-sucking human. It's beautiful.

Fingers Still Crossed

This morning I went to my third, and hopefully final, interview for a fantastic job opportunity. I'm looking at the fact that I made it to and through three interviews as a good sign. Each call back felt like a small reassurance that, hey, there was something about me they liked and they want to know more.

The first interview was over the phone with Human Resources, the second was with the two department supervisors, and today's interview was with the department head, as well as the general operations manager for that location. Everyone seemed to really like me. They said I should know something by tomorrow afternoon and I'm assuming the something I should know will be whether or not I got the job, because there can't possibly be anyone else left to interview me.

Overall I have to say I have a pretty good feeling about this, but I'm also working very hard at not getting my hopes up just yet. I've only been looking for a month and this job is more than I ever expected to find or have a chance at so I'm feeling a little apprehensive and can't help but hover over the jar of optimism and threaten to force the lid back on should I start feeling too confident. Okay, you're right, a part of me is bracing for bad news, but an even bigger part of me can't wait to hear the news, whatever it is.

Anyway, all of the interviews went great. I gave it everything I had and I genuinely feel I am more than qualified for the position so if I don't get it, I can feel confident in knowing someone else really was more qualified. I can't feel sorry for myself or worry that there was something more I should have done or something I could have done differently. I did the very best I could and all I can do is be proud of that.

Update 4:56 PM: Turns out I was so likable that I didn't have to wait until tomorrow afternoon to hear something. I am officially employed again!!

Bizarre Sightings

Today shall be remembered as the day I saw a man snatch a half eaten burrito out of a trash can at Chipotle and begin eating it. As if that wasn't bad enough, he proceeded to search the other can for an old, crumpled napkin to wipe his mouth. I don't know which temptation was stronger--to cry or to vomit.

What I don't understand is why dig for the dirty napkin when a pile of fresh, new ones reside four feet to your left?