Jon: "What do you want to do for Valentine's Day?"
Me: "The same thing we do every year: order Chinese take-out and spend a quiet evening at home."
Jon: "You don't want to exchange gifts?"
Me: "No. You know I don't care about Valentine's Day."
Jon: "I know, but when I explain how you feel to the guys at work they all say you're talking in code and you're really asking me for diamonds."