Black Ugly

Jon and I set out for an evening walk with the dogs last night but only made it barely past the end of our street before we were confronted by a ferocious black horse.

No, you didn't read that wrong, I meant to write HORSE, although Jon keeps swearing up and down that it was dog. This horse, I mean dog, had the head of a Rottweiler, the body of a Mastiff, the legs of a Great Dane, and the teeth of Jaws. On all fours, its head came up to my waste and I have no doubt that if standing upright, this dog and I would have been face to face, at least until it used its giant hooves to knock me over. I've tried using the internet to find the breed but I've been unsuccessful and am now stuck with describing this thing as a massive black dog that tried to eat us.

It came running out from between two houses on the next street over. It was barking wildly and gunning right for Jack and I. My first thought was I'm going down. My second thought was there goes my throat, and then I thought for sure Jack would be eaten alive trying to save me, and finally, I figured Jon was going to at least lose an arm in this fight.

Jon and I have talked countless times before about what to do if a loose dog ever came up to us on a walk, and my responsibility is to quickly pick up whichever dog I'm walking the moment Jon says to. So I stood there, almost paralyzed, repeating OhmyGodOhmyGod, and waited for Jon to give me instructions, but he never did.

Everything happened so fast that I remember it all as a blur. What I do know is that Jon pivoted in such a way that the beast would have to get through him before it could reach me or either of our dogs, and then he went all Cesar Milan in front of us and cupped the top of the beast's head and pushed it towards the ground, forcing it to recognize who was in charge. The dog yelped and backed away. He stared us down for a few seconds and growled at Jack who had suddenly decided he was taking over this fight by stepping forward and growling, but then the massive black dog who tried to eat us quickly retreated back behind the house he came from.

After the dog disappeared, Jon turned to me and said, "Let's go home, but be ready to pick Jack up if I tell you to."

I nodded to let him know that I understood but I was shaking so badly right then that every time I looked down at Jack I saw three of him and I wasn't sure I'd know exactly which one to pick up should Jon give me orders to do so.

We made the two minute walk back home and started searching the phone book for a number to Animal Control but we gave up after dialing three different numbers, talking to six different people, and no one wanted to help us. I have a feeling the dog actually lives in one of the houses it ran out from behind, mostly because the long, deep bark sounded very familiar from previous times we've walked past that area. We weren't so much looking to get anyone in trouble as we were set on getting the dog's owner to realize a better form of restraint--be it a taller fence or stronger chain--is needed so it can't come out and scare the living shit out of innocent people walking by, but that's hard to do when you don't know who the owners are.

Now I'm sitting here at the computer, at a time when I would usually be out walking the neighborhood with my dogs, and I'm pissed because I don't feel safe enough to walk any further than the end of my street. I'm probably overreacting and it's probably perfectly safe out there and free of ferocious black horses, but I'm afraid to take that chance without Jon and he's working tonight. I also understand that mistakes happen and dogs get loose--it's happened with Macy a few times--but extra care should be taken, especially when you opt to own a man-eating beast.