Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Repairing and Preparing My Psyche

I’ve been using my frustration from work as means to push my workouts to a new level. In the last two weeks I’ve started doing my routine in the evenings after work when the stress is at its worst, and I’ve been pushing myself as hard and as fast as I can. There’s something about that moment, when it’s finally over and my clothes are drenched in sweat, my heart is pounding, and my legs can barely carry me that I can think clearly and remember that there is more to life than what’s going on with my employment. There are bigger, better, and more permanent things that complete me, and I shouldn’t feel as though my life revolves around unhappy customers, disgruntled co-workers, and a never-ending job search.

Things have slowed to a crawl at work, which is a welcome change from having to hit the ground running while blindfolded like we’ve been doing for the last 2+ months. The only problem is that the little work we do have quite often revolves around borderline abusive customers who have no one to blame but themselves for waiting so long that there isn’t much I can do for them. I never mentioned it, but a few weeks ago, I had one man who, while screaming at the top of his lungs, told me I needed to go back to school to get my degree in Law, because what I, personally, was doing to him (offering to fax a copy of the order we received to show that he did, in fact, receive what he ordered) could be considered illegal. Then he proceeded to insult my intelligence and question my ability to do my job when I admitted that I needed my manager’s approval to bend company policy. He wouldn’t stop accusing me of playing games with him. Whatever, dude.

But I digress.

This time next week I will finally be finished here. I will be finished “playing games”. I will be embarking on a week long vacation at home to recover from the outrageous insanity of the last 4 months. After the rest and relaxation I will finish up interviews with temporary employment agencies and finally have a decent amount of time dedicated solely to looking for a new job.

I have no disillusionment. I know it needs to be done quickly, but I’ve done everything humanly possible to prepare for what could be a very rough road ahead of me, and I can’t let myself be consumed by the enormous mountain of what ifs. I have severance. I have savings. I have my network moving at full-force, and I have a very solid resume. I’ve read every article on job-hunting I can find, and I’ve followed every helpful tip. I’m prepared for this, despite my emotions going haywire, as if they don’t know whether to jump for joy or bury themselves in a stiff drink. But I’m pretty confident that everything is going to be okay, because anything has got be better than the right here, right now.


Stephanie said...

This chapter in your life is ALMOST OVER! Can you believe it? I can't wait until you do find a new job...hopefully temping...because then you'll get to work in different offices all the time and then we'll get really funny blogs about all your new experiences!!! Not that I don't love your blog posts now...I just can't wait to hear your take on the different office personalities you encounter!!!

Kate said...

I can't believe it, but I am beyond excited to move on and begin the next chapter of my working life, where ever it may be!