Somebody Needs a Girlfriend

The phone rang last night around 7:00 and the caller I.D. came up as Private. I only know of one private number that calls us and that's my older sister, so I answered the phone with an extra chipper "Hello?" and waited.

The person on the other end of the line didn't share my enthusiasm, instead they were crying and gasping for breath, and raggedly repeating, "Help me...please...help me..."

"Who is this?"

"...gasp...help me...gasp...please...help..."

By this point I'm almost convinced it's my sister having a massive panic attack--images of her crippled on the ground somewhere, convulsing, and struggling to catch a decent breath of air--unable to reach our mother and settling for me instead, but the voice was so breathy and painful that it was almost impossible to tell and I thought maybe it could be one of her daughters, or an elderly lady who dialed the wrong number instead.

"gasp...please...gasp...help..."

"Who is this? I can help you! Where are you?!"

"...gasp...gasp...gasp..."

Now I was frantic. Whoever was on the other end of the phone call was getting worse with each plea and they were convinced I could recognize their voice and I couldn't, and I didn't know where they were, and I had to help them and I didn't know how. I was hanging on to the receiver for dear life as I paced back and forth in the family room, and I was almost crying out of frustration.

"I can send help for you, but you have to tell me your name and where they can find you! "

"gasp...I don't have a name..."

I hit the off button on the phone. I was shaking and I had goosebumps, and I was fucking livid.

The phone rang again, it was private, again, but I let it go to the answering machine.

"Ma'am, this is the prank calling company, and you were going to win a Grand Prize trip to Hawaii...FORGETITNOW!!"

If I ever find that stupid punk ass kid I will personally slap the shit out of him for crying wolf, and then I'll give him a pat on the back for devoting himself to the role. It was pretty good acting, I really thought someone was dying. Almost 24 hours later and the creepiness is still following me around like a dark cloud.