When Owen was only a few weeks old and I was desperate for even one solid hour of sleep I remember scouring every piece of new parenting literature I could find for some sure fire way to get him on a sleep schedule. I laugh at that now because I know you can't get a newborn on a schedule. You survive on shots of 5-Hour Energy and chocolate chip granola bars, but I was new to parenting and I was naive and would not learn this until much later.
I did eventually find a routine after roughly 3 months of cohabiting with my munchkin. I learned it was easiest when I started the evening with him in a warm bath, followed by changing into warm and fuzzy footy pajamas (he was a winter baby after all), and a bedtime story, usually a book called Love You Forever. I would then give him his last bottle of the evening and sing him three songs: Hush Little Baby, You are my Sunshine, and Rock-a-bye Baby while I slowly rocked him to sleep. The whole process took nearly two hours, most of which was spent on rocking him to sleep because God forbid if I were to lay him down while still even the teeny tiniest bit awake. If Mama made that mistake she was looking at another 30 or so minutes of rocking, easy.
Anyway, the routine was very time consuming but it worked and at 3 months we were ALL sleeping like a baby through the night, so I tried not to complain too much.
But then...THEN my dumb ass kept searching for parenting tips on the internet and came across this snippet of advice: Whatever bedtime routine you choose for your baby now, be prepared to follow for the next 2 years.
I freaked out. Two years? I was going to lose 2 hours of my life EVERY NIGHT for the the next TWO YEARS?! I wanted to punch myself in the face. This was just one more thing on a very long list of things that I had totally done wrong as a parent. And Owen was only 3 months old. My parenting skills = EPIC FAIL.
Or so I thought then...
Fast forward 15 months. Owen is now 1.5 years old and we still have a very solid bedtime routine to follow. We have bath time only it's not so much about getting clean as it is wearing him out with toy fishes and boats that float around him, lots of stacking cups that he uses to pour water from one to the other, and a crazy bubble machine that sings and lights up.
Bath time is followed by changing into our pajamas and giving Daddy a hug and kiss good night. I love this part because Owen doesn't hug with his arms so much as by laying his head on you and in this case, he's usually burying his face in Jon's thigh (because we're all usually standing at hug time) and then Owen very gingerly reaches out for my hand and we walk to his bedroom.
Sometimes we read a story, but I've quickly learned that life as an 18 month old must be very tiring and there can be mere minutes between sweet, tired little boy and his evil screaming twin so we read a bedtime story when we can but try not to push it.
The nighttime bottle has graduated to a sippy cup of water that he only sips occasionally while sitting in my lap all snuggled in his favorite polka dotted blanket. Owen is too big to cradle anymore. Instead, he sits in my lap with his little legs dangling over the side of the chair, lays his head against my chest and hums along with me as I sing our three favorite bedtime songs. Sometimes we talk afterward -- I tell him how much I love him, and he points to my eyes, nose, and mouth and waits for me to name them all -- but he quickly grows tired and starts pushing against me as if to say, "Yo, Mom, I'm done with this whole bedtime prep thing. Just put me in my crib already!" That's when I finally put him down for the evening. He snuggles deeper into his blanket and rolls over to his side. His eyes aren't even closed by the time I walk out, closing the door behind me, but we don't usually hear from him again until morning.
Our nighttime routine now takes less than 30 minutes and I still want to punch myself in the face....but only for ever thinking that time spent with this precious little boy is time lost. 1.5 years of mothering under my belt and I'm finally realizing just how fast he's growing up.
Friday, September 9, 2011
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Deciphering Kate
Thoughtful Kate wants to put life on hold, leash up the dog, and walk forever. She doesn't care where she's going or where she's been so long as she can stay lost in her head and mentally write blog entries. The dog serves as her excuse to be out, a quiet companion, and her eyes since she isn't paying much attention to her surroundings. Her feet work as a mode of transportation and a crank for her internal monologue. She is most content on cold, rainy nights without an umbrella because wet, stringy hair and feet dyed black from her flip flops make her feel all emo and emo writes good blogs.
Tired Kate wants to march up a flight of stairs, pound on the Elephant Man's door, bitch slap him a few times, knock him to floor, and then slowly and painfully claw out his eyes all while a disturbing, maniacal laugh escapes from the back of her throat. She hasn't had a solid nights sleep since moving here because the Elephant Man doesn't give a shit about waking his polite neighbors at 1:00, 2:00, even 3:00 in the morning. She has complained to the office, pounded on the ceiling, screamed at the top of her lungs in a desperate plea for sleep but the asshole must think it's funny because he only gets more obnoxious. Tired Kate doesn't know how much patience she has left and may very well be featured on the next segment of Baltimore's Most Wanted. She makes no guarantees.
Wallowing Kate has an overwhelming urge to lose herself in bags of Cool Ranch Doritos, Little Debbie's Fudge Rounds, and entire seasons of One Tree Hill. She wants to wrap herself in self pity, fill her insides with high fructose corn syrup, become grotesquely obese, and spend her evenings whining about how the kids on Tree Hill have everything she wants but can never have because she's too fat and ugly and socially awkward. No, she doesn't make a whole lot of sense, she may even lack a single rational bone in her body, but she is one extremely overwhelming pain in the ass.
Lonely Kate is always reminded of something a friend told her a long time ago: "I moved so far away because I was trying to run away from my problems, but what I didn't realize was my problems were in my head, and they followed me all the way out there." Despite this very valuable advice given long before-hand, Lonely Kate moved to Baltimore in the hopes of reinventing herself and is failing, obviously. She wants friends. She wants to meet people. She wants her own "bestie", but she can't figure out how to exchange more than pleasant hellos while out walking the dog. She stupidly thought this was one Ohio problem that could magically fix itself in Maryland, but she was wrong. She recently started trolling this website: www.succeedsocially.com and is actively seeking a babysitter.
Tired Kate wants to march up a flight of stairs, pound on the Elephant Man's door, bitch slap him a few times, knock him to floor, and then slowly and painfully claw out his eyes all while a disturbing, maniacal laugh escapes from the back of her throat. She hasn't had a solid nights sleep since moving here because the Elephant Man doesn't give a shit about waking his polite neighbors at 1:00, 2:00, even 3:00 in the morning. She has complained to the office, pounded on the ceiling, screamed at the top of her lungs in a desperate plea for sleep but the asshole must think it's funny because he only gets more obnoxious. Tired Kate doesn't know how much patience she has left and may very well be featured on the next segment of Baltimore's Most Wanted. She makes no guarantees.
Wallowing Kate has an overwhelming urge to lose herself in bags of Cool Ranch Doritos, Little Debbie's Fudge Rounds, and entire seasons of One Tree Hill. She wants to wrap herself in self pity, fill her insides with high fructose corn syrup, become grotesquely obese, and spend her evenings whining about how the kids on Tree Hill have everything she wants but can never have because she's too fat and ugly and socially awkward. No, she doesn't make a whole lot of sense, she may even lack a single rational bone in her body, but she is one extremely overwhelming pain in the ass.
Lonely Kate is always reminded of something a friend told her a long time ago: "I moved so far away because I was trying to run away from my problems, but what I didn't realize was my problems were in my head, and they followed me all the way out there." Despite this very valuable advice given long before-hand, Lonely Kate moved to Baltimore in the hopes of reinventing herself and is failing, obviously. She wants friends. She wants to meet people. She wants her own "bestie", but she can't figure out how to exchange more than pleasant hellos while out walking the dog. She stupidly thought this was one Ohio problem that could magically fix itself in Maryland, but she was wrong. She recently started trolling this website: www.succeedsocially.com and is actively seeking a babysitter.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
10 Things I Love About Working From Home
1. Quality time with Owen every morning watching cartoons and eating buttermilk waffles.
2. Jack sleeping at my feet while I work and then crawling out from under the desk at 11:59 and stretching in preparation for the daily lunch time walk.
3. Dress code = sweat pants, t-shirt and messy ponytail.
4. Non-stop Pandora radio.
5. The fastest, most convenient food is located IN MY KITCHEN and not some questionable and equally addictive burger joint around the corner.
6. MY OWN BATHROOM . 'Nuff said.
7. Beverly Hills 90210 re-runs on my lunch hour.
8. One tank of gas lasts nearly 2 months.
9. Dinner is often ready before one hungry little monster and his big, hungry father arrive home. This convenience alone makes for some very peaceful evenings.
10. This office space! Working in a space that is created by and for yourself makes a world of difference.
2. Jack sleeping at my feet while I work and then crawling out from under the desk at 11:59 and stretching in preparation for the daily lunch time walk.
3. Dress code = sweat pants, t-shirt and messy ponytail.
4. Non-stop Pandora radio.
5. The fastest, most convenient food is located IN MY KITCHEN and not some questionable and equally addictive burger joint around the corner.
6. MY OWN BATHROOM . 'Nuff said.
7. Beverly Hills 90210 re-runs on my lunch hour.
8. One tank of gas lasts nearly 2 months.
9. Dinner is often ready before one hungry little monster and his big, hungry father arrive home. This convenience alone makes for some very peaceful evenings.
10. This office space! Working in a space that is created by and for yourself makes a world of difference.
Road Trip Conversations to Remember
Jon: "I could really go for a tropical drink when we get home."
Katie: "Ooooh! Like a piña colada?"
Jon: "No, no pine cones! I don't like pine cones in my drinks."
Katie: "......I think you mean coconut?"
Katie: "Ooooh! Like a piña colada?"
Jon: "No, no pine cones! I don't like pine cones in my drinks."
Katie: "......I think you mean coconut?"
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
America, meet The Elephant Man
I've nicknamed our upstairs neighbor The Elephant Man a.k.a. Old Stompy. He walks through his apartment with diligent and heavy feet. Each step makes me think he must be a man on a mission only most of the time that mission seems to be pacing the floor above my head. Obviously, this is most often noticeable when I'm trying to fall asleep. He, $3.75 for a small load of laundry, and not having the choice of anything other than Comcast cable are my only gripes about reverting back to apartment life. After all, it could be worse. We could be living below us -- 2 adults with heavy feet and the tendency to talk over each other, a toddler who enjoys shrieking as much as he does eating chocolate chip cookies, and a dog who barks at everything, even flies...
Yeah, odd as it is, I think we may have lucked out here.
Anyway, I'm only telling you about the Elephant Man because I have a strange inkling he may become a dominate part of our lives here in Baltimore. After all, I've only met the man once yet he holds the answer to whether or not I'll get a decent nights rest in the soles of his feet.
Yeah, odd as it is, I think we may have lucked out here.
Anyway, I'm only telling you about the Elephant Man because I have a strange inkling he may become a dominate part of our lives here in Baltimore. After all, I've only met the man once yet he holds the answer to whether or not I'll get a decent nights rest in the soles of his feet.
Monday, August 1, 2011
Welcome to Charm City
When I first announced that Jon and I would be picking up our family and moving to Baltimore, Maryland I made a promise to my friends and family. I promised I would update my blog regularly so they could still feel like a part of our everyday lives, and mostly, so they wouldn't feel as though they missed out on watching Owen grow up. Alas, we have been in Baltimore for exactly one month already and I have failed miserably at updating this poor, forgotten blog, so please bare with me as I collect my barrings and remember how to write.
Getting out here was no easy task. Owen and I lived without Jon for 3 months -- and let me tell you -- it was 3 of the worst months of my life. Kudos to all the single and military moms out there who manage to hold a full time job, keep a clean house, and raise a well-balanced child. I don't know how you do it as I was ready to throw in the towel after 2 weeks. It has never been more apparent that Owen is a Daddy's Boy. I could not keep him happy. He and I spent most evenings crying together at the dinner table. He cried because he missed his father. I cried because I missed my best friend and was forced to live with an unhappy 1 year old who didn't know how to do anything but cry. Just saying this probably makes me a crummy mother, but Owen and I, we spent so much time together in those 3 months in which we wanted to be with someone else that I think we STILL need some time apart. We love each other very much, we both just needed more Jon in our lives and less Owen or Mama.
But, it is over. We are here. We have been here since July 1st. Owen has been reunited with his daddy and I have been reunited with my husband and best friend. I think we could live in a tiny, run down shack with a leaky roof and only stale bread to eat and life would be better than ever just because we're all together again. As it is though, we live in a really awesome apartment with a wonderful yard to go cruising in the Cozy Coup, a pool, a playground, and a cool home office where I get to work in my pajamas every day. We're within walking distance to everything we need (in fact I still have Ohio gas in my car) and...wait for it...10 minutes from IKEA! That alone, my friends, should be illegal. All material things aside though, we are so truly happy. We are more of a family unit than we have been since the day Owen was born. Life seems to have slowed down enough for us to actually enjoy it. I don't feel like we're scrambling to do a million things at once anymore. I finally feel as though we're free to take a lazy Saturday and spend the day watching episodes of The Wire if we so choose, because by golly, whatever needs done can wait until tomorrow. I had very little doubt of that from the time Jon was offered the promotion, and even if there were a lot of doubt most of it would have disappeared with the freakish way things kept falling into place and making a 350 mile move so easy. But now -- now that we've been here -- I can say with absolutely no doubt whatsoever -- this is where we are supposed to be. I miss my family. I miss my friends. I miss little bits and pieces of Ohio, but this is where we belong. I -- the worry wort, queen of the grass is always greener, and pessimistic perfectionist -- am at peace.
Lots of wonderful things have happened in the last month and I hope to be able to fill you in on all of it as well as keep you updated on everything else as it happens, but for now, let me leave you with a few photos of my growing boy. He and I may be at odds occasionally, but he still melts my heart:
Getting out here was no easy task. Owen and I lived without Jon for 3 months -- and let me tell you -- it was 3 of the worst months of my life. Kudos to all the single and military moms out there who manage to hold a full time job, keep a clean house, and raise a well-balanced child. I don't know how you do it as I was ready to throw in the towel after 2 weeks. It has never been more apparent that Owen is a Daddy's Boy. I could not keep him happy. He and I spent most evenings crying together at the dinner table. He cried because he missed his father. I cried because I missed my best friend and was forced to live with an unhappy 1 year old who didn't know how to do anything but cry. Just saying this probably makes me a crummy mother, but Owen and I, we spent so much time together in those 3 months in which we wanted to be with someone else that I think we STILL need some time apart. We love each other very much, we both just needed more Jon in our lives and less Owen or Mama.
But, it is over. We are here. We have been here since July 1st. Owen has been reunited with his daddy and I have been reunited with my husband and best friend. I think we could live in a tiny, run down shack with a leaky roof and only stale bread to eat and life would be better than ever just because we're all together again. As it is though, we live in a really awesome apartment with a wonderful yard to go cruising in the Cozy Coup, a pool, a playground, and a cool home office where I get to work in my pajamas every day. We're within walking distance to everything we need (in fact I still have Ohio gas in my car) and...wait for it...10 minutes from IKEA! That alone, my friends, should be illegal. All material things aside though, we are so truly happy. We are more of a family unit than we have been since the day Owen was born. Life seems to have slowed down enough for us to actually enjoy it. I don't feel like we're scrambling to do a million things at once anymore. I finally feel as though we're free to take a lazy Saturday and spend the day watching episodes of The Wire if we so choose, because by golly, whatever needs done can wait until tomorrow. I had very little doubt of that from the time Jon was offered the promotion, and even if there were a lot of doubt most of it would have disappeared with the freakish way things kept falling into place and making a 350 mile move so easy. But now -- now that we've been here -- I can say with absolutely no doubt whatsoever -- this is where we are supposed to be. I miss my family. I miss my friends. I miss little bits and pieces of Ohio, but this is where we belong. I -- the worry wort, queen of the grass is always greener, and pessimistic perfectionist -- am at peace.
Lots of wonderful things have happened in the last month and I hope to be able to fill you in on all of it as well as keep you updated on everything else as it happens, but for now, let me leave you with a few photos of my growing boy. He and I may be at odds occasionally, but he still melts my heart:
Sunday, May 8, 2011
What's up, Kate?
Part of me can't help but wonder what the neighbors must think. My husband disappears one day and a For Sale sign shows up in the yard the next. It reeks of divorce, doesn't it? What would you think if I told you Jon moved to Baltimore and left Owen and I behind? Still sound like marriage problems? Well, rest assured, Jon and I are still very much in love. Jon received a promotion at work and it means relocating to Baltimore, Maryland. He's already there -- has been for about a month -- and Owen and I stayed behind to handle getting the house on the market and preparing for a 350 mile move.
The original thought was that once Jon was promoted I would become a stay at home mom but the more I thought about it, the more I realized I would have been miserable without the help of a second income. I love to shop, I love vacations, I love to have money in the savings account and none of that could have happened on one income. Also, having Owen in day care has made me much more aware of just how much he loves people and other children especially. Considering neither Jon nor I are very social, I've been extremely concerned I would destroy any type of social skills Owen seems to be building already. I can sit here and tell myself about all of the trips to the zoo or library or museum we could take if I were home with him but actually doing it is an entirely different story. All of my stay at home mommy friends live in Ohio, not Maryland and I don't know that I trust myself to do these things on my own. That said, I'll continue to be a working mom, but a really amazing opportunity has stemmed from this decision. When I told my current company about my family relocating I asked if I could work out of my home in Baltimore and -- get this -- they said YES! I'll remain a working mom, but I'll be a work from home mom.
My last day at the corporate office will be June 30th. Does that date sound familiar? I lost my job on June 30, 2009. I lost my brother on June 30, 2010. I'm no longer living in fear of what devastating thing will happen on June 30, 2011. It's going to be bittersweet as I'll be remembering my brother and reflecting on the last year without him, but also reuniting with my husband after 3 months of living apart.
The last month has been strange to say the least. I'm lonely. Very, extremely lonely. I talk to Owen a lot and when he goes to bed I talk to the dog. I'm very productive since I know that if I don't do something it won't get done. The days go by so fast and yet the weeks seem to be crawling by. How is that possible? I miss Jon. He comes home every other weekend. The weekends he's home seem to go by in the blink of an eye.
Jon lives in a lovely apartment in Towson, Maryland. He has 2 bedrooms and a den, 2 baths, a bed, a dresser, a card table, some camping chairs, an old television and an Xbox 360. He uses the cardboard box from the new vacuum cleaner as a kitchen trash can and a blue Ikea bag as a laundry basket. He's bachelorin' it up again and he's even more lonely than I am. After all, I at least have Owen and the dog.
Was there an easier way to do this? Probably, but so much has already fallen into place for us that I'm absolutely positive that we chose the correct path, even if it was the harder one.
So....we're moving to Baltimore!!! Can you believe it? I can't but I'm really, really, really excited. This move opens up so many doors for us, and for Jon's career especially. We can only go up from here. The last month has sucked and I don't expect the next 2 months will be any easier but these 3 months will only be a small blip in the large scheme of our lives.
The original thought was that once Jon was promoted I would become a stay at home mom but the more I thought about it, the more I realized I would have been miserable without the help of a second income. I love to shop, I love vacations, I love to have money in the savings account and none of that could have happened on one income. Also, having Owen in day care has made me much more aware of just how much he loves people and other children especially. Considering neither Jon nor I are very social, I've been extremely concerned I would destroy any type of social skills Owen seems to be building already. I can sit here and tell myself about all of the trips to the zoo or library or museum we could take if I were home with him but actually doing it is an entirely different story. All of my stay at home mommy friends live in Ohio, not Maryland and I don't know that I trust myself to do these things on my own. That said, I'll continue to be a working mom, but a really amazing opportunity has stemmed from this decision. When I told my current company about my family relocating I asked if I could work out of my home in Baltimore and -- get this -- they said YES! I'll remain a working mom, but I'll be a work from home mom.
My last day at the corporate office will be June 30th. Does that date sound familiar? I lost my job on June 30, 2009. I lost my brother on June 30, 2010. I'm no longer living in fear of what devastating thing will happen on June 30, 2011. It's going to be bittersweet as I'll be remembering my brother and reflecting on the last year without him, but also reuniting with my husband after 3 months of living apart.
The last month has been strange to say the least. I'm lonely. Very, extremely lonely. I talk to Owen a lot and when he goes to bed I talk to the dog. I'm very productive since I know that if I don't do something it won't get done. The days go by so fast and yet the weeks seem to be crawling by. How is that possible? I miss Jon. He comes home every other weekend. The weekends he's home seem to go by in the blink of an eye.
Jon lives in a lovely apartment in Towson, Maryland. He has 2 bedrooms and a den, 2 baths, a bed, a dresser, a card table, some camping chairs, an old television and an Xbox 360. He uses the cardboard box from the new vacuum cleaner as a kitchen trash can and a blue Ikea bag as a laundry basket. He's bachelorin' it up again and he's even more lonely than I am. After all, I at least have Owen and the dog.
Was there an easier way to do this? Probably, but so much has already fallen into place for us that I'm absolutely positive that we chose the correct path, even if it was the harder one.
So....we're moving to Baltimore!!! Can you believe it? I can't but I'm really, really, really excited. This move opens up so many doors for us, and for Jon's career especially. We can only go up from here. The last month has sucked and I don't expect the next 2 months will be any easier but these 3 months will only be a small blip in the large scheme of our lives.
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