Monday, December 8, 2008

Ba Humbug 2008

Jon and I kept making tentative plans for putting up the Christmas tree but they kept falling through, mostly because he's too busy with work and exhausted by the time he gets home, and because I'm just not particularly interested in dealing with it this year. For the first time in my life I actually contemplated not having a Christmas tree and I was perfectly okay with that. Odd.

I suspect it's due to one or more of the following reasons:

1.) Decorating for Christmas brings out the worst of my obsessive compulsive tendencies. I've been working very hard to stave my self-diagnosed OCD and I think I've done incredibly well, but just thinking about watching Jon put the lights on the tree and not weaving them in and out of the branches to get perfect coverage and even spacing was making my blood boil. I know that sounds terrible, and like I said, I'm working on it, but a constant need for perfection has been very hard to break.

2.) There isn't much money to go around for gift-giving. Everyone is feeling the crunch and it just means that I have to be that much more creative with my gift ideas this year, but I feel so incredibly cheap, and non-creative.

3.) Christmas equals winter and I'm hating winter more than ever this year. I'm constantly cold, and it feels like I'm constantly driving in crappy weather. I have to get over this fear of driving in snow if I'm going to survive this winter, but I keep waiting for/expecting the bottom to drop out. I'm not allowed to be this satisfied in life (with everything but the Christmas tree) and since I am so satisfied, something terrible is going to happen, like losing control of my car, swerving into on-coming traffic, and facing death, which two women have already done this year on one of the main roads I take to and from work.

Anyway, plans didn't fall through tonight. Jon and I got the bare tree up, and I walked out of the room as he put on the lights. It looks okay. Unfortunately, I couldn't decide where to go from there so that's as far as we got. I guess the important thing is that it's started, and now that it's started I'll inevitably finish within a few days.

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