The latest issue of Reader's Digest was sitting out on one of the break room tables this morning. The cover story boasted "Best New Jobs: The guide you need now". It was a little off-putting to see it sitting there, abandoned on purpose, as if someone thought I needed to find a new job. Well, obviously I do, but it's so strange to have it being advertised every where in my place of business. I took the magazine back to my desk, flipped to page 98, and started skimming the article.
The opening paragraph was harsh. It recapped the unemployment percentages and the snowballing economy. People who lose their jobs have to spend less, and spending less results in more lay-offs, yada, yada, yada. But it was all good, because Reader's Digest had come to the rescue, providing the answers to finding the steady job of your dreams, and they were hidden somewhere in that 16 page article.
I'd like to say I read all 16 pages but I didn't. Actually, I only made it to page 4 where I discovered a little illustration of a very sad looking girl who was carrying a beat-up box of personal items, and scrawled on the beat-up box of personal items in sloppy, all caps were the letters K-A-T-I-E. She was a cartoon, and much skinnier than me, with a short bob haircut, but none of that mattered. It mattered that I felt like I was looking into my future if I didn't get my ass in gear and begin work on my resume or at least figuring out where I go from here. I know me and I know that given the choice I will let myself despair just enough to ignore that my company is closing and then I'll shove the thought into the back of my mind for the next 3 months. Before I know it I'll be walking out of the office building for the last time with only a few weeks severance and the same worrisome expression as the girl in the illustration.
I hate that I give up easily, especially when I give up before I've even tried, but I can see this and feel this becoming one of those situations already. And of all things, this cannot become one of those situations. I hope now that I've recognized it I'll do everything I can to prevent it.